About the dog...

A young Southern boy goes off to college at Auburn, but about 1/3 way through the first semester, he has foolishly squandered the money his parents gave him.

Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education is coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach your dog, Ole Blue, how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1,000," the boy says,"I'll get him into the course."

So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000. About 2/3 way through the next semester, the money runs out again.

The boy calls his father am second time.

"So how's Ole Blue doing, son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this! They've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"

"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"

"Just send $1,500, I'll get him in the class. "

His father sends the money.

The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog.

When he gets home, his father is all excited.
"Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him
talk and read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Ole Blue was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?'"

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that damn dog before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy."