Updated Living Will

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body,
do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of
pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives
depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the
bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______a Bloody Mary,

______a Margarita

______a Scotch and soda

______a Martini

______a Bud Lite

______a Steak

______Lobster or crab legs

______The remote control,

______a Bowl of ice cream

______The sports page,

______Chocolate

______Sex

it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and
attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.