Two for Tuesday

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to Little Johnny . So she said , "If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?"

"Somebody else's pants." said the Little Johnny.

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The Doctor tells his patient that he has H-E-G-S.

"What's that?", the patient asks.

"It's a combination of Herpes, Encephalitis, Gonorrhea and Syphyllis."

The patient wants to know if there's a cure, to which the Doctor responds, "We have to keep you in a hospital room and feed you nothing but pancackes."

"Why only pancackes?", asks the patient.

The Doctor answers, "They're the only thing that will fit under the door."