Red and Blue Ribbons

A couple has a dog who snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the
wife goes to the vet to see if he can help.

The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and
he will stop snoring.

"Yeah right!" she says.

That night a few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as
usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep.

Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red
ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles.

Sure enough, the dog stops snoring! The woman is amazed!

Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out
drinking with his buddies.

He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly.

The woman thinks maybe the ribbon trick might work on him.

So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties
it around her husband's testicles.

Amazingly, it also works on him!

The woman sleeps soundly.

Her husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the
bathroom.

As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees
a blue ribbon attached to his privates.

He is very confused and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the
red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.

He shakes his head, looks at the dog and whispers,
"I don't know where we were, or, what we did, but, by God, we took
first and second place!"