Decoding Women's Personal Ads

40-ish............................49.

Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.

Athletic..........................No breasts.

Average looking................... Moooo.

Beautiful.........................Pathological liar.

Emotionally Secure................On medication.

Feminist..........................Fat.

Free spirit.......................Junkie.

Friendship first..................Former slut.

New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places.

Old-fashioned.....................No BJs.

Open-minded.......................Desperate.

Outgoing..........................Loud and Embarrassing.

Professional......................Bitch.

Voluptuous........................Very Fat.

Large frame.......................Hugely Fat.

Wants Soul mate....................Stalker.