Job Application Gaffes

***Reasons For Leaving Last Job*
- Responsibility makes me nervous.
- They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every
morning. Couldn't work under those conditions.
- Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well
as cockroaches.
- I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
- The company made me a scapegoat -- just like my three
previous employers.

***Job Responsibilities*
- While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I
am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least
partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and
that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the
application of more rarefied facets of financial management
as the major sphere of responsibility.
- I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award.

***Special Requests and Job Objectives*
- Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and
my employer does not know I am looking for another job.
- My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no
training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock
brokerage.
- I procrastinate -- especially when the task is unpleasant.

***Physical Disabilities*
- Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep.

***Personal Interests*
- Donating blood. 14 gallons so far.

***Small Typos That Can Change the Meaning*
- Education: College, August 1880-May 1984.
- Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse.
- Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget.
- I'm a rabid typist.
- Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation.