Professions

Psychologist: a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

Professor: someone who talks in someone else's sleep.

Schoolteacher: a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

Consultant: someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

Diplomat: someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.