Oy Vay!

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.


There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.



Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.



Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-Princess horror movie?
A: It's called "Debbie Does Dishes."



Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.

Ham

The priest and the rabbi were on a plane flying across the ocean when the plane developed engine trouble. Everyone was doomed. The priest turned to the rabbi and said, "Before I die there's something that I would like to know. You being Jewish and all -- have you ever tasted ham?"

"Well," the rabbi laughed, "sure I''ve tasted ham. But tell me father, before we die -- could you tell me if you have ever made love to a woman?"

The priest blushed and said, "There was this one time I gave in and made love to a woman."

The rabbi looked at the priest and said, "Beats the hell out of ham, don't it?"

A Tough Call

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Frank?" the others asked.

"He had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Frank laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Frank!"