The Conductor

The Conductor A little old lady is on a bus, buying a ticket from the
bus conductor, fumbling in a voluminous bag for the correct change.
After 15 minutes the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on
the head with the ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies
instantly. Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death row.

Just before he is to be electrocuted, his last request is for 12 pounds
of bananas, which he devours.

They strap him into the chair, flip the switch, and he just sits there,
smiling. According to tradition, this is consid- ered a reprieve from
God and he is freed.

Somehow he gets his old job back, and he is happily dispensing tickets
when he sees a girl stick her gum on the back of a seat on the bus.
Enraged, he lunges out with the ticket dispenser, breaking the
offender's neck and killing her.

Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He again eats the 12
pounds of bananas, and lo and behold, the electricity does not harm him.

This time the executioner cleans the contacts, makes him sit in a bucket
of water, he tries everything but the conductor won't die. So again, he
is set free.

Amazingly he regains his job. It takes him 1 day to lose his temper and
beat to death a young boy who starts to chew his bus ticket. He returns
to death row, eats the bananas, and survives the electrocution.

At this point, the executioner can take no more, his profes- sional
pride has been hurt. Before setting our friend free again, he asks him
his secret, "what is it with the bananas?"

"Oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it," replies the man. "I'm just a bad
conductor."