Actual Classified Ads

GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.

FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat been out awhile. Better be a reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK: $300 hardly used, call Chubby.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.

and...

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica - 45volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.