The Hole

Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.
The first hunter says "Wow, that's some hole, I can't even see the bottom, I wonder how deep it is?"

The second hunter says" I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."

The first hunter says "There's this old truck engine here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see".

So they try to pick it up but have to end up dragging it over, and count one, and two and three, and push it in the hole. They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them. As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole, and jump in headfirst.

While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole, and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.

"Say there", says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"

The first hunter says "Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes and jumped headfirst into this hole here!"

And the old farmer said "Why that's impossible, I had him chained to an old truck engine!"

Selling Out

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.

"Listen," he says to the bartender. "If i show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, is my beer on the house?"

"We'll See," says the bartender.

So the guy pulls out a hamster and a tiny piano out of a bag, puts them on the bar, and the hamster begins to play.

"Impressive," says the bartender, "but i'll need to see more."

"Hold on," says the man. He then pulls out a bullfrog, and it sings "Old Man River."

A patron jumps up from his table and shouts, "Thats's Absolutely incredible! I'll give you $100 right now for the frog."

"Sold!" says the guy. The patron takes the bullfrog and leaves.

"It's none of my business," says the bartender, "but you just gave away a fortune."

"Not really," says the guy. "The hamster is a ventriloquist."

What's Marriage?

The child was a typical four-year-old girl: cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny.

When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help.

One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.

"Now do you understand?" he asked.

"I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?"