Dr. Seuss, the Technical Writer

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM
Quicky turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Who? Me?

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

Marty, a contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had
reached the final plateau. If he answered the next question correctly,
he would win $1,000,000. And, as he suspected it would be, the
million-dollar question was no pushover. It was:

"Which of the following species of birds does not build its own
nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it:

A) The Condor
B) The Robin
C) The Cuckoo
D) The Wren

He was on the spot. He did not know the answer. All that
remained was his Phone-a-Friend Lifeline, and he hoped against hope that
he would not have to use it. Mainly because the only friend that he
knew would be home happened to be his girlfriend, a blonde. But he had
no alternative -- he called her and gave her the question and the four
choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy! The
answer is C: The Cuckoo."

Marty had to make a decision and make it fast. He considered
employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one
that his friend had given. And, considering that his friend was a
blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other
hand, that he could not help but be persuaded.

"I need an answer," said Regis.

Crossing his fingers and drawing in his breath, Marty said, "C:
The Cuckoo."

"Is that your final answer?" asked Regis.

"Yes, that is my final answer"

A minute later, Regis said, "That answer is absolutely
correct. You are now a millionaire!"

Three days later, Marty hosted a party for his family and
friends including the blonde who had helped him win the million dollars.

He said, "Jenny, I just don't know how to thank you. Because of your
knowing the answer to the final question, I am now a millionaire. And
do you want to know something? It was the assurance with which you
answered the question that persuaded me to go with your choice. By
the way , how did you happen to know the right answer?"

"Oh, come on" said the blonde, "Everybody knows that Cuckoos don't
build nests, they live in clocks!"